A New Decade: Make It Count!

It’s not only that this year has almost come to an end, giving us a chance to reflect upon the events from the last twelve months within our lives; it is that a whole decade is coming to a close. 10 years of our lives (10 years of this blog!).  

I recognise that I am totally biased towards being someone who thinks that one should do more than exist, but I’d challenge those of you bumping along to ask yourself if you are happy with how you have lived the last year; last ten years? Are there aspects of your life that you feel you could have done a better job? Or taken a different approach? Would you be more content if you had? If you had that conversation? Taken that risk? Been that bit more vulnerable and open? Do you instead feel you are a victim of your circumstances? Do you have that “why me?” feeling?

Fair enough if you have taken the time to reflect and are perfectly content within your comfort zone. That is a choice, as well and one that works for many. However, if you look back and recognise that you could have/ should have done more, or something,  or differently, then I’ve got a challenge for you.

Make this next decade count! 

Effectively these next paragraphs of call to action are going to be a collection of sayings accumulated in my past 10 years of reflection and experience. I’m sure there is some quoting credit that is meant to be done; however, this fondue-pot of experience has assimilated, thus apologies in advance. Here it goes. 

“What’s the worst that can happen?”. 

Well, in my full reality and in some situations, you might die, but I’d challenge most of you to rationally recognise that actually dying in pursuit of your own personal challenge will not kill you. And for those of you who are on a pursuit of more of an extreme goal or endeavour, where the risk of death is actual, then there are ways to mitigate the risk through thorough preparation. Please take the time to be thoroughly prepared, for when the worst happens. 

“What’s the worst that can happen?”, in regards to taking a risk in leaving your job, speaking to that person you’ve been avoiding, taking control of your health, etc, etc, does not likely have a chance of death. Perhaps instead there is a chance of rejection, or too large of an effort, or failure of some sort, but you will still be alive the next day to try something else, or go back to your old ways, if that suits you better. What is important though, is that you tried. You don't get what you don't ask for. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take... okay, that one is Gretzky for sure.

Our minds naturally catastrophise to the worst possible outcome we can imagine, usually humiliation or rejection, but what is so bad about that? It sucks to feel rejected or ashamed, but that is a momentary reaction. You can choose to not feel that way. So what if someone doesn’t like you? There are over 7 billion people in this world, I’m sure there is someone out there who thinks you’re awesome. YOU should think YOU are awesome without needing that validation from others. Find your self-worth. Value your self. 

Or, so what if that diet/ exercise/ communication style didn’t work for you? Try another approach. Why not try a completely different approach, rather than more of the same? Someone said the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It’s likely that if you are continuously disappointed with the outcome, you are probably going through the same recipe, just trying different ingredients. Why not try a different WAY instead? Stop being a serial complainer and be brave enough to have happiness and contentment in your life.  Be brave enough to do it a different way.

I can share that a different outlook and approach has certainly helped me grow and progress... after getting fed up of the same outcome, after “trying to change”, I actually took the time to listen to other perspectives. 

What?!? 

My way isn’t always the best way?! 

Well, if you are someone who likes to challenge, then you can only be a good challenger by accepting that there are other ways to get to the goal. Try it on. See how it feels? Stick with it for a period long enough to decipher if this other way is a better way, or not. Challenge back on experience rather than the hypothetical. 

Are you being your best self? 

A great friend of mine said you should trade upwards in your relationships. You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with, so what circles are you swimming in? Are you swimming at all? Metaphorically? Like are you on the observation deck or in the pool? And physically? In the script of Mr. Robot: are you a 1 or a 0? Are you a doer or not? 

Okay, so I’m not quite ready to jump on the triathlon bandwagon, but if I keep hanging out with people who are, I’m sure I’ll be doing my own swimming... well, maybe in another decade. The point is, I am hanging out with people who want more, have more, have goals, want more than where they are today. More physicality, more enjoyment, more out of life! 

What is also important is that the circles I am attracted to are also grateful! Glass-half-full-love-lifers. Please don’t mistake my ambition and drive for dissatisfaction about my circumstances. Robin once asked me what am I grateful for, and it was easy to answer: I’m grateful to be born where I was, when I was, in the family I have. Everything that I am now is growth from those relatively affluent (compared to the rest of the world) circumstances. 

Visit a third world country more than once in your life if you feel like your life is too hard. Heck, visit the inner city of wherever you currently live and empathise with those who have less. If you have, sometimes being your best self is helping those who have not in whatever capacity that resonates strongest with you. 

Make it personal. Make it real. 

If you’re not enlisted to the core, what’s the point? Goals become successes when you’re enlisted; living and breathing whatever betterment you are trying to achieve. Don’t let your goals become tasks or just another item on your to-do list that you will get around to. I recognise I am preaching about making goals (another great friend told me I am addicted to goal setting which I completely accept), but your goals don’t need to be lofty, Nobel Prize winning efforts. Rather, they are personal commitments to making your life a little better, or maybe different. Robin used to make three goals a year: one for his relationships, one for his well-being, and one massive challenge. Start small with something you know you are likely to achieve. Achievement feels nice... don't you want to feel a little more warm and fuzzy? 

Here are some suggestions if you don’t know where to start: be a better listener, learn about and practice empathy, stop judging people.

Make your to-do list and goals real. 

If it’s in your head, it doesn’t exist. Once it’s written, or spoken to another, then it’s real. Make your goals real. Make your thoughts real. Make your opinions real. Stop living in your own reality and realise that you are not alone... even if you are super introverted and wish you were alone. I’d like to challenge (as an experienced introvert and introvert whisperer), that even if those moments where you truly need to be alone are numerous, they are not the only moments of your life. You are 1 in 7 (ish) billion, mull over that. 

Share the goal. 

Share the journey.

Share the experience. 

You are not the only one this has happened to. You are not the only one thinking the way you are. Your thoughts are not original (heard from Tony Robbins) Perhaps you helping others, being your better or best self, is sharing your experience to help others with their journey. 

So what’s it going to be? 

What page do you chose to turn to? 

How will you be different? Or better? Or even the best you can be? In whichever facet of your life that might be. 

Make this next decade count!

P.S. 

If you feel like you need a bit of support in setting goals, message me and we can chat! 

P.P.S: 

And in the spirit of sharing and making it real, here are some of my goals for the next year to kick-off the decade: 

• get my 6-Star Medal (follow me on Instagram @xtynspix
• Run the Everest Marathon (and get closure Nepal). You can join me in Nepal for the trek to Everest Base Camp, and/or to run the marathon if you are that way inclined)... message me for details at kristyncarriere@hotmail.com
• Launch 7 Summits Snacks: my legacy chocolate-snacking company inspired in part by Robin’s endeavours. Done with two other fabulous women, Christine and my sister, Leanna. Website and dedicated write up coming soon. Follow us on Instagram @7summitsnacks

Decisions, decisions...

Just over two years ago, I decided upon my next big challenge. 

About one year ago, I dove even deeper into that challenge, and despite hardships, moved beyond the half-way point. I decided to keep going rather than stop.
Just over one year ago, a decision was made that changed the course of my life. 
Just over four months ago, Robin also made a decision to keep going. 

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.” T. S. Eliot

How far is too far?

I laugh to myself at the thought of the quote and that question as a response, as I’m reminded by an inside joke or bit of banter we used to share: “it’s a fine line, Kristyn, a fine line...”. 

This was usually discussed in regards to an athlete missing out on their gold medal by a thousandth of a second or the threat of missing a connecting train on a usual commute between Birmingham and Brussels, but never to actually discuss the possibility of pushing beyond the physical limit of a literal no return. 

We certainly both liked to push our boundaries or even to push THE boundaries, and risks were always calculated or fairly contemplated. Risk assessing the boundaries is a useful, and rational exercise, but I’m still left wondering what “too far” means. I suspect “too far” has a large cost to it of sorts: financial, physical, and/ or emotional, but still, a large cost is a debatable term. Is “too far” a cost on your expenses? Your comfort? Or your actual life? 

What does T. S. Eliot mean in his quote? Oh no 🙄, not meaning again. 

I believe the general consensus around this quote would agree that “too far” would suggest existing somewhere beyond your comfort zone, yet perhaps not facing death. Or perhaps that’s me hopefully projecting for the sake of humanity. 

Or rather, shall we focus on the meaning of the word risk instead? Is to risk to take a chance, thus inviting an element of fate? Is risk-taking tackling known hurdles? Is it a quantified and calculated cost, again, physical, emotional, and/ or financial? 

In any case, to take a risk is to make a decision and set you on your path. Being on a path supposes that you have purpose, and you all know how much of a fan of having purpose I am. 

So what were these decisions? And what is my purpose these days?

Just over two years ago, I decided upon my next big challenge: 

After finishing the Berlin Marathon Oct 1, 2017, I decided to commit to going after my 6-Star Medal. The 6-Star Medal is awarded to those who have completed all six of the World Marathon Major runs: Berlin, Boston, Chicago, London, New York, and Tokyo. In choosing goals for the next couple of years, my thoughts teetered between trekking another peak (Elbrus) or ticking off these marathons. With my age, general running ability, and requirement to qualify for Boston, thus considering my current fitness and ability together, I thought that I better get these marathons done before I start a family, because I certainly don’t want to train this hard when I have munchkins.

About one year ago, I dove even deeper into that challenge, and despite hardships, moved beyond the halfway point. I decided to keep going rather than stop.

As this goal of obtaining the 6-Star Medal contains running the Boston Marathon, which you can only enter if you run a certain (fast-ish) time, I thought I would use the Chicago Marathon in 2018 to get my Boston place. If I didn’t get my time then, I would surely get it 4 weeks later when I ran the New York City marathon. Or that was the plan. After running Berlin, having a few hard months personally, and in training for the Chicago and New York Marathons (Stars 3 and 4), I depleted everything I had physically. 

In the spring of 2018, I found myself napping as soon as I got home from work, feeling absolutely bagged during running, and clocking heart rates on my usual long runs of an upwards of 170 bpm (long run heart rates should be less than 150bpm). I had been getting routine blood work done anyways for another minor issue, and as I was training to get faster at running, some strange results kept surfacing… through broken English and Franglais (I was in Brussels at the time), I continuously paid the doctor 100 Euros for 10 minutes of his time to tell me I was getting rhabdomylosis from exercising. 

During the first consultation, the doctor told me to run less, so I tried to relax on my long runs, but kept up the speed-work. The second consultation, after the marker levels increased, he told me with concern to run less again, so instead I went to see a dietitian and kept running the same. Insert quote here about insanity= repeating the same patterns over again and expecting a different result. After the third consultation, my marker levels slightly decreased (the dietitian helped me out, but doubted her measuring instrument when it repeatedly reported that I had the muscle quality of an elderly person), he was firmly telling me not to run more than 40 minutes, two times a week. By then my coach Leanna switched up my training sessions forcing me to buy a one piece swimsuit for my new running method in the pool so that I would be able to keep training and get my butt around these upcoming marathons.

When you Dr Google rhabdo effects, you get answers such as: Rhabdomylosis a serious syndrome due to a direct or indirect muscle injury. It results from the death of muscle fibers and release of their contents into the bloodstream. It results in acute renal failure. In reading this, many people might have thrown in the towel and rightfully deferred their races until the following year. The point is, I decided to take a risk and keep training, although in an adjusted way, and also partake in the marathons. I read what I could to understand what might actually be happening to my body, decided that it was serious, but low level enough (not likely to result in death), so continued on my quest for these stars.

Circling back to Mr Eliot, I found out that pool running isn’t as bad as I thought it would be, that I can run a decent marathon time, or two, (3:47, 3:49) with limited training, and that I can run two marathons in a month of each other. I found new limits and realizations within myself, which absolutely set me up for what 2019 had in store for me.

Just over one year ago, a decision was made that changed the course of my life.  
I can’t talk about the Chicago Marathon without thinking of Robin. It was this weekend, October 5th, perhaps, that Dan Mazur of Summit Climb made the decision to take Robin on his Everest expedition team. Robin was in. His dream to climb Everest was on. When he opened that e-mail and shared it with me, it would be one of those moments that you remember for the rest of your life.

Just over four months ago, Robin also made a decision to keep going. 
He certainly risked going too far and found out how far he could go. 

I share this story because I believe this T. S. Eliot quote is often too loosely quoted, or perhaps I am now hypersensitive to its sentiment. I am certainly not advocating a life without risk or challenging your personal boundaries. The broader purpose in my life is the decision to keep moving forward, onwards, and upwards; the decision to live a challenge-ful life keeps me going. Rather I would challenge those of you who use this quote as an excuse, to consider the full impact, beyond yourself, of your decisions. Contrarily, discovering how far one can go IS a personal endeavour which should be pursued without having to be defended. You choose because it’s in your heart. You choose because you choose. You choose (hopefully) with purpose.

My choices, decisions, and purpose for 2020 remain on track from what I set out to accomplish in 2017: go after my 6-Star Medal. 

I survived the chaos which is trying to enter the Tokyo Marathon via the charity placement scheme, and have donated 100,000 yen to Plan International to help girls run in developing countries, have access to education, and say “NO” to early forced marriage. The marathon is March 1, 2020.

I will then travel to Boston to collect my 6-Star Medal when I finish the marathon on April 20, 2020. After everything that happened in the last 18 months, and through incredible support from my coach (and sis-star) Leanna Carriere, I managed to take 15 minutes off my marathon time, in a year, on my home turf of Edmonton, where I qualified for Boston.

And if that wasn’t enough, the actual risk I am taking is to enter the Everest Marathon on May 29, 2020. Three marathons in two months, and I thought I’d try my first trail race starting at 5300m of elevation where the course tracks from Everest Base Camp to Namche Bazaar. This was actually something that Robin and I joked about taking part in, and as it will be shortly after a year of his passing, I thought it to be the most fitting tribute I could offer him.

If you are personally interested in exploring what your “too far” might be, then I invite you to take part and join this epic trek with me. You certainly don’t need to run the marathon, as I will also encourage you to trek through this special region of Nepal to Everest Base Camp. I have put together an itinerary and have a company lined up to make all of the arrangements in Nepal. Please message me (kristyncarriere@hotmail.com) if you are interested in joining. 

Otherwise, I leave you with another quote from T. S. Eliot if you are feeling as though you are searching for your purpose:

“To do the useful thing, to say the courageous thing, to contemplate the beautiful thing: that is enough for one man's life.”  T. S. Eliot

Trek-only option also available.