Who am I?

Who am I? Great question, I’d say- especially this year. You might think with my adventuring, Myers-Briggs-ing, and recent certification as an NLP Practitioner (oh yeah, I also did that- now taking bookings to change your life), I’d be a layer closer to the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and fully self-actualized. The trouble is (in great clichéd form), the more you know, the more you realize you don’t know. So to combat my confusion of my present and near-in-future self, I paid some money and did a test that would give me some cold hard facts.

This idea came about after watching some informative TV programme examining health, where the show spoke about a DNA test you could purchase and send off for analysis of various traits, genetic conditions, and likely ancestral lines. Of course I didn’t even think about it, paid my money, and a short while later had a centrifugal tube at home to spit into.

As iterated by the hesitancy of the presenter of the TV programme, this test has the potential to be life changing. Not only does it tell you what eye colour (likely blue) or ear wax type (likely wet) you should have as warm up tests to build trust in the analysis, the test gives an indication of your genetic predisposition to muscle performance (sprinter), responsiveness to common medical drugs (hepatitis C treatment response reduced), and possession of genetic variants associated with higher risk of diseases such as Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s (variants absent; typical risk).

Undoubtedly many people would worry about finding out if they carry genes for Cystic Fibrosis or a higher likelihood of Cardiomyopathy (again, both variants absent), but if you have the knowledge upfront, wouldn’t you choose to make some positive changes in your life? Wouldn’t you want this information upfront to make smarter choices? It’s often heard: if only I knew earlier… then I would have done something differently. Well you have the ability to do that now. For me I wasn’t worried about what the test might reveal, rather I was/ am worried about what the company is going to do with the rest of my spit sitting in some DNA bank at headquarters. I feel sorry for the rest of the world if they so choose to robotocize this robot to Kristyn 2.0.

So what’s in my jeans and in my genes?! Sigh- I know.

·         Apparently I can blame that last 6 pounds I will never be able to lose on my genes. Building on that, I am predisposed to getting fat from a high fat diet and am likely to have a slightly larger waist circumference than typical. In short- I can put fat on easily. But, have a base pairs that indicate I should easily stay within my BMI and respond well (lose weight) to exercise. To the gym!!

·         Variant absent; typical risk for the major genetic diseases (Alzheimer’s, Dystonia, Hypercholesterolemia, Breast Cancer, Cardiomyopathy, Parkinson’s)- if I get these in my life, I only have myself to blame and not my parents. Thanks Mom and Dad!

·         I (may) have a reduced response to Hepatitis C treatment, but a typical response to other major treatment medications.

·         Variant absent for the nasty genetic diseases you wish to not give your children.

And the fun stuff:

·         Sensitive to sweaty odors and bitter tastes

·         Increased episodic memory, meaning I don’t forget what we’ve done together

·         High sensitivity to the sound of chewing (misophonia), which is why you’ve probably seen me scowl at you for slurping your soup or chomping on a carrot (a-hem).

·         High odds of detecting asparagus odor in my … well, you know

·         Less than 1% chance of having ginger genes

Furthermore and perhaps most interestingly, the results indicate your likely origins! Bombshell alert in the family tree! Wee-woo-wee-woo!! Not only is “an estimated 2.7% of my DNA from Neanderthal”- which is apparently smack-dab normal for European origin DNA (hint hint), my DNA contains 0.3% Native American DNA (that dig is for my Grandmother) which I would think is proof enough to be too far from obtaining Metis status, AND is mostly Italian!

What?! Someone has some explaining to do. The breakdown is as follows:

43% of my DNA is Southern European (Italian, Balkan, Iberian, etc), with the highest percentage of my DNA coming from Italian ancestry (9.9%). When I was in Rome, my tour guide said you could trace Roman ancestry through whether or not your earlobes are attached or floppy, in my case attached- and I do tan well.

Next up is Northwestern European @ nearly 30% of my DNA including French, German, British, Irish, and Scandinavian. French/ German weighing heaviest at 5.5%. A bit of a relief, I’d say with a last name of Carriere. And the Polish genes (clearly my Mom’s side) coming in at 9.3% in the Eastern European category (coupled with Ukraine and other such countries).

Using my best Procrustes interpretation of the data and trying to pinpoint who is from where, I have decided that I am composed of the following cultures:

Italian- 9.9%

Polish- 9.3%

Balkan- 8.3%

French/ German: 5.5%

Iberian- 5.5%

One step further still is that now that my DNA is in a database, I can be linked to potential family members. Of course the linkage depends on who has actually completed the test, and even in the past month in which I have had the results, the number of “cousins” has grown. Again- if you were single and looking for a life mate, wouldn’t you want to know upfront the genetic stock you were contemplating?

At the moment the infographic tells me that I have 421 “matches” including 1^st – 6^th cousins and the bulk of which are registered as living in the east of Canada/ Northeast United States (makes sense from what I do know about my paternal family tree). What is again in line with my paternal family tree lineage is that when I filter to 1^st – 3^rd cousins, the 24 results I am matched with are in Quebec along the St Lawrence… oh yes, and the two in France. No Italians registered. No Polish registered. Just a bunch of knowledge thirsty Franglais. Très intéressant, non?!

So if you are interested in finding out what you may already know, as well as what might be the unknown, the company that I used is called 23andme: https://www.23andme.com/en-gb/.

A bit pricey for the test, but they offer discounts when you buy more than one kit. For me to know/ have an idea about what genes (good & bad) I might be passing on in the future, it made the test a no-brainer; as well as being able to do what the website says and “engage in your health care” by understanding your susceptibility to treatments or diseases. And finally, who doesn’t want to know about the cultures that make up who you are today- at least that knowledge makes for an interesting chat with your grandparents the next time you see them.

Reporting from the Top of Le Mont

Or rather, from altitude 0 m post achievement.

Who takes a snowy holiday at the end of a somewhat languish summer? Surely I should have been seeking out some sun and sand as a way to get away from my daily grind and not prioritizing the number of pairs of woolly socks to pack my suitcase instead of bikinis. But, it's a fact that Canadians require a certain amount of snow exposure per year to remain functioning beings, hence my trek to the top of Western Europe. At 4807 or 4810m high, where perhaps the difference in opinion does have something to do with the amount of snow continuously blanketing France/ Italy's tallest peak, I stood forgetting four hours of grind to feel like a queen on top of the world... just me, my partner Robin, our guide Seb (and some bloody bird!).

Mont Blanc from Glacier du Tour

As usual- this is how it went.

Pre-Event:

I mentioned before that I was feeling slightly out of my depths when acquiring items off of my kit list and reviewing the proposed itinerary, and still until we started, I was not feeling overtly confident. Not because of lack of ability (all the gear and no idea(r))- remember the internet says you just need to be fit to do this- no skill necessary; however, the internet also says that summit success rates are only around 50 - 60%. I tried to look into this statistic a bit more to help me manage my expectations and from the tidbits of information that I could find, the factors seemed to be mainly weather dependent. To the mountain weather forecast I went: outlook: snowy + wind gusts= very cold. Hmmm... Think positively. Mountain weather changes daily. You cannot rely on this forecast until the day.

To climb Mont Blanc you fly to Geneva, then transport to Chamonix, and then depending on your (pre)chosen route up, catch a lift, and a gondola, and a lift, and a telephonic train, and a ... and eventually you are there. In short, there are a few faces and starting places to embark upon your journey. We went the Chamonix - Les Houches - Gondola - Telephonic Train to Nid D'Aigle – two-legged-not-so-express-to-the-top option. Two pre-training days + three days on Mont Blanc all brilliantly arranged by our chosen company OnTop Mountaineering. Super kudos goes out to the OnTop team who were friendly and accommodating on top of perfectly managing our expectations for the entire trip. Oh yes, and for assigning Seb as our superstar guide!

Maps of the areas we were to trek.

Col de Balme to Aiguille de Tour Map

Nid D'Aigle to Mont Blanc Map

This is an achievement that you can organise and carry out yourself, if you are an experienced Alpinist fully understanding the dangers of this mountain; however I know my limits and left this planning to the professionals. So after spending a day in the quaint mountain town of Chamonix prior to the penultimate event, Robin and I (thought we) were ready to get started and met our guide Seb in our hotel lobby on "Day 1".

Day 1- Training and acclimatization. Hike to Albert Premier Hut (2702m) via Col de Balme

As I said, we met Seb our guide in our hotel lobby with what we thought were light backpacks ready to take on the next two days. Seb discerningly looked us up and down and as first order of business had us open our bags to inspect the contents. 

Guide notes here (and by guide, I will dually mean from the Guide Seb AND guiding notes for those intending to embark on the same journey): when the itinerary says to pack light, do so. You do not need superfluous items such as a towel, contents of a medicine cabinet, or a loaf of bread, bag of salad, and packet of crisps for two days away. You stay at catered huts on this journey (Top tip= buy lunch onsite and more about the huts in a bit) and if you can't suck it up and not wash your face in the span of 24 hours, then perhaps outdoor pursuits such as this are not for you.

With the bobble-toque and extra map discarded for the first two days of "training" we were ready to start our adventure and travelled to Col de Balme.

Col de Balme Gondola

A gondola, chair lift and two hour hike later (ascent from 2195m – 2702m) through the Alpine mountainside, we arrived at Albert Premier Hut. The trail was not busy, apart from the odd Alpine Cow (now I understand why the Milka Alpine milk tastes so nice). The hike itself was not so challenging, even with the odd handrail fastened to the rock side. The views of the Mont Blanc Massif range were spectacular- from greenery to rock formations to an ever shrinking Glacier de Tour.

Alpine Mountains

Upon Hut arrival, Seb promptly explained the rules to us and we de-booted, re-booted with Crocs, put our crampons, helmets, ice axes, etc. in our basket, claimed our beds, and returned to the dining hall for some lunch. The first hut experience was far better than expected, where perhaps I was expecting some make-shift shelter in the mountains. However, these recently re-built modern hostel-type establishments are far nicer than some hotels I have stayed in. Hut-living comes complete with dorm-style sleeping, a communal dining area with great traditional food choices (dietary considerations catered for with advanced notice), and modern bathrooms, where this particular hut had running water. Tete Rousse and Gouter Huts where we stayed at later on did not, although they did have flushing toilets- no long drops here.

De-boot and don the Crocs

Dorms in the Albert Premier Hut

Two of four courses for dinner- always cheese (Tome) and soup.

Boots and box at the huts

Seb explained that communal overnighting at these huts does not come so cheap; the two main reasons being that supplies are helicoptered in regularly and that the French Alpine Clubs that own these buildings use them as profitable business ventures- so, typical of most property owners. Nightly rates + four course dinner + basic breakfast range from 60 – 90 € per person. Lunch, water, beverages, etc. are available at extra cost; water @5.20€/ 1.5L and 100g Milka@ 4.00€/ bar.

Post lunch it was out to the Glacier de Tour to become better acquainted with our technical kit.

Crampons for the glaciers.

We spent about an hour learning how to tie our crampons on and using them to traverse the ridges, flats, and cracks of the Glacier. Ten-ten-ten-ten was my new mantra for the next five days as instructions are to channel your inner duck, keep the 10-points of your crampons on the ice at all time with your feet in a 10:10 watch-face orientation. Unless however you need to get yourself out of a crevasse; in that case you stick the ice wall with your front four points and anchor your ice axe with such force as you might be taking out your anger of paying taxes to the government Seb says. Warned with the dangers of snow bridges and glacier walking, it was time to return back to the Hut, eat dinner and get a good night’s sleep as we had a 4:00am breakfast call the next day.

Glacier du Tour four point crampon practice

Glacier du Tour crampon practice

Day 2- Albert Premier Hut (2750m) to Aiguille de Tour (3550m)

A generally straightforward day of trekking: Rocks, glacier traversing over crevasses you dare not look down, and about a 30 minute near vertical scramble got us to the top of Aiguille de Tour looking down over France and Switzerland. In the panorama of our summit we were spoilt by the clear view of peaks such as Aiguille Verte, Chardonnet, the Matterhorn (in the distance) and Mont Blanc. We were prompted to remember the curvature of the Mont Blanc summit as Seb warned that when you think you have hit the last relentless push, there is still probably another hill to climb.

I’m convinced that such an early start is to help your mind get you to the tops of these peaks. If you were confronted by some of the snow bridges and crevasses in plain daylight and a fully-awake brain, you might just turn around to the hut to enjoy a Tartiflette and bottle of Mont Blanc beer. Rather, to naively begin your journey in the dark (metaphorically and practically speaking) is slightly more comfortable from my point of view. Only look back at the danger once you have passed through and are at the end. Ooooo… philosophical.

During this trek we were also introduced to the idea of roping together as a team- no, those are not leashes in the pictures. Seb explained the previous day that we rope together in case someone falls down a crevasse. As most European crevasses are thought to be less than 10m wide, we are tied together at 10m intervals and instructed to keep the rope taught for the duration of walking on the glaciers. At times we shorten to 2m intervals, mainly on the ridges going up or down. Apparently it is ok (or maybe more stable) to let someone fall 10m down a crevasse, but only 2m off the side of a ridge. Furthermore, Seb did make it very clear that whatever thoughts we were having, we must not fall off the ridges- that was paperwork that he was just not ready to deal with.

Crevasse traversing

We took 4.5 hours to get to the top of Aiguille du Tour and a further 3 hours to descend back to the Albert Premier hut in the full realisation of some of the dangers that we crossed. This trek back was complete with stiff warnings from Seb at times to keep pace and do not stop to take pictures on the glacier, because the reality is that we do not know what is under the snow in places.

Summit of Aiguille de Tour

After a brief stop for lunch at the hut, we completed our hike down through the Milka Alpine valley back to the chairlift, gondola, and eventually hotel. Time to get a comfortable night’s sleep, re-pack our bags, and mentally prepare for the next three days and our big trek to the top of “le Mont”.

Day 3- Bellevue Cable Car (1800m) to Tramway Mont Blanc (2380m) to Tete Rousse (3167m)

An “easy” day as described by Seb and our itinerary as we were to conserve our energy on the 2.5 hours and 780m up through more of a Martian looking landscape. We were able to spend the time soaking in the glacial views, say hello to the mountain goats, and talk through the meaning of life, our hopes, dreams and statistical chances of summit success. Or rather, theorise about why a leading a life of moderation trumps vegetarianism when it comes to a natural state of being. I did say that it was an easy day.

Route to the top from Nid d'Aigle

Rockfall warnings in the safe zone

Wildlife on Mars

Martian landscape on the way up to Tete Rousse Hut

At the Tete Rousse Hut that evening, I begin to feel the altitude a little bit in my head, or perhaps it was the dizzying warnings Seb briefed us on- remember: “the approach from the Tete Rousse Hut is technically the most challenging… the traverse of the Grand Couloir is the most notorious and objectively dangerous part of the ascent”. There are times where we will be asked to walk quickly. There will be times where we need 200% focus and no talking. In looking up at the face we are about to climb (when it will be dark) the reality of this adventure sets in. Guiding words here: “don’t worry about what you haven’t experienced; women are experts at this”.

The Grand Couloir

The Grand Couloir and Mont Blanc from Tete Rousse

One last dinner conversation to be had is whether to be wary of the weather or not- meaning, do we actually summit on Day 4. The forecast came in:

Saturday: clear morning, -15 to -20C at above 4000m, wind 15 kph, snow showers forecast for midday

Sunday: snow showers in the afternoon/ night, clear morning, -15 to -20C at above 4000m, winds gusting above 35 kph

leaving the guides in the Hut to discuss two options:

1.    Breakfast call at 2amà Grand Couloir en nuità Refreshment break at Gouter Hutà 6am depart to the summit of the Mont à descend to Gouter Hut and enjoy the afternoon/ evening before the traverse back down to the parking lot on Day 5. This option= 3 hrs up + 4  - 6 hours up + 3 hours down, then sleep.

Benefits= sleep at Gouter Hut before coming down the mountain on the descent (Grand Couloir reverse). If an unsuccessful first attempt at summiting, there is another day to try.

Risks= Grand Couloir on the way up is in the dark. Snow at midday could leave for poor visibility and conditions coming down from the summit back to Gouter Hut.

OR

2.    Breakfast call at 8am à Grand Couloir to Gouter Hut (3 hrs) in the light. Rest at Gouter Hut. Big day Sunday with the 2am breakfast call, 4 – 6hrs to the summit in time for sunrise à descend to Gouter Hut for lunch  (3 hrs) à descend the Grand Couloir on a tired body (3 hrs)à Descend to the train (2 hrs)= 12 hour day potentially.

Benefits= play Scrabble en Franglais while we rest at Gouter Hut and sit out the potential snow showers on Saturday.

Risks= if the weather is also bad on the Sunday, then we have low summit chances. High chances of fatigue when you need to have your wits about you.

In the end, both options were selected by various groups on the same journey. Seb decided that we channel the good karma of travelling with a vegetarian and try to summit on Saturday. Good night it was- we had a 1:40 am alarm to get up to.

Day 4- Up and down. Summit day: Tete Rousse (3167m) to Gouter Hut (3817m) via the Grand Couloir. Gouter Hut to Mont Blanc (4810m) and back.

1:40 am came around quickly and I was feeling pretty good as I downed as much stale baguette and apricot jam as my mouth would let me. We were joined by about five other groups and as we geared up to go, Seb strictly warned us that for the next 45 minutes, there will be no talking. It was dark, ominous, and even the sprinkling of snow coming from the sky that I usually find so magical didn’t distract me from the seriousness of the next bit of the journey. Seriousness again reinforced as we approached the most dangerous cut-in-loose-ish rock goat path- and Seb herded together on one meter ropes and told us to cross with pace. Thank goodness I can’t actually see what is going on! Ignorance is bliss.

Well, blissful enough until we quickly approach what is to be about another 90 minutes of near vertical scrambling to the experienced, or what is rock climbing to me. Just keep going up. Don’t look down. Use the cables fixed to the sides to help you manoeuvre around some of the one meter gaps. Get past this and the rest will be no problem. Be thankful that you are coming down this bit tomorrow.

At the moment I am most thankful that we have arrived at the Gouter Hut for a spot of tea. We take the opportunity to put more clothes on and empty everything unnecessary from our bags. It’s now 6:00am and Seb looks impatiently at us urging us to lace up and go.

Light is starting to break as we embark our summit trek up the snowy glacier and the weather has passed leaving what looks to be a clear morning. We have crampons on and are roped together. It should take 4 to 6 hours. We will briefly stop at the last refuge (we are pre-warned it is a dirty makeshift shelter) for a quick refreshment break/ clothing adjustment/ health check before the final summit attempt. Although this part is less technical than the ascent up the Grand Couloir, it is still a long and tiring hill climb.

Dome de Gouter

Vallot Refuge (4300m)

Our Guide wasn’t kidding when he described the dirty Vallot Hut (4300m). Thoughts of going to the loo for me are entirely killed as my options are to drop my trousers outside where it is -20C or else to enter a “toilet unsuitable for women” as Seb described it (I didn’t see for myself). A quick mental calculation of one hour more up and three hours back means no more tea and it seems the fluids management part of my earlier marathon training is really paying off now. I reluctantly attempted to chew on a Cliff bar instead as we were asked to remember that what you think is the top is not the top, but we are nearly there, so keep going.

With good guide skills on show, Seb has understood my need to break things into manageable portions (likely from my continuous questioning on timings prior to this point), as he lets me know that the top is only 6 hill climbs away… 5 more hills to go… 4 more ups… Between this countdown and figuring out to take smaller steps up the 45°+ inclines, my fatiguing calves are slowly, but surely getting me to my end goal.

One of the six hills en route to the Mont Blanc summit

One of the ridges on Mont Blanc

I’m aware of my tiring legs and at the same time blatantly turning myself off from the world within my peripheral vision. Again, ignorance is bliss, or a coping mechanism in this case as we traverse across the final ridges to the summit. Ridges with steep drops into the depths of France and/or Italy. Ridges that are not more than one meter wide.

Simply not allowed to fall. France on the right, Italy on the left.

In hindsight the regret I have is that I didn’t experience the moments up as fully as I could (and I wish I would have taken off my shades and helmet for my pictures)! After the four hour uphill slog, I didn’t get that same euphoric feeling that I had at the top of Kili. Shame. And proof that you shouldn’t go chasing happiness; rather, by experiencing the run up as fully as you can, your life will be just as rich. I guess similar to what “some say”- enjoy the ride. That realisation is the “difference that made the difference” to quote some previous learning from the year. I changed my frame, shook my head, and remembered I was standing on top of Western Europe. Oh yea! Open my eyes and soak it all in. We were standing here with no other company than our own.

On top of Western Europe- Mont Blanc summit

Oh yes, but it was reality check time and although we had the most perfect summit conditions possible, it was now time to get the heck back down. Mantra in full force: ten-ten-ten-ten with every step and braced with the warning from Seb that we were simply not allowed to fall, we used all of the downhill crampon/axe techniques we practiced the days before and waddled our way back down the ridges to the Vallot refuge. Here we split from 2 meter ropes to 10 meter ropes as we were able to fully soak up the sunshine and views as we made our way back across the Dome du Gouter to the Gouter Hut for a relaxing afternoon and watch the hesitant faces of those embarking on their summit day on Sunday over dinner.

Making our way back to the Gouter Hut

Looking back.

Day 5- Down and down the Grand Couloir from Gouter Hut (3817m)

Alarm at 6:40am for a 7:00 stale bread breakfast call and a quick glance across the dorm to see that 6/12 bunks are empty with hikers who have made their departure for the summit earlier in the morning. We gear up for the final time: ice axed fixed to the backpack (eventually) and crampons on as we start off on a narrow ridge out of the Gouter Hut that I must have blocked from my memory on the way up. Gulp.

Ridge to Gouter Hut

The comfort blanket of the dark is no longer as we approach the rocks we climbed up, now sporting a thin layer of icy snow. Do I go down the rocks facing out or to the rocks? Seb encourages the outward facing method; I tweak it to include sitting on my bum and stretching a tiptoe down until I can grip anything with my boots. We are urged to be confident in our steps and in times I begin to feel comfortable, I’m faced with a 5-foot gap to traverse across on a vertical rock face. Suck it up, girl!

Grand Couloir descent.

After a brief moment to catch my breath and lower my heart rate, we approach the most dangerous rock-fall area of the Couloir, where we have been reminded of the instability by hearing small slides over the past hour. We are more so leashed together on one meter ropes now and have been instructed to keep close and quick as we traverse the balance beam of fresh snow on something just stiffer than scree for about a minute or two. This is now the fastest my heart has raced and the most scared I have felt in the past five days. And even as we enter the “safe(r)” zone, we see some boulders/ discus shaped rocks (depending on who tells the story) tumbling down the face of the mountain at a decapitating velocity.

The most objectively dangerous traverse of the Grand Couloir.

Within the hour we arrive at Tete Rousse Hut and the relief and full sense of achievement now settles in. Seb says “now you can say you’ve climbed Mont Blanc”. We look back at where we came from where Seb also mentions that due to the gusting on the top of the mountain, there might only have been a 30% chance of summiting today. Crampons off, harness off, extra warm clothes back into the backpack, we sit down for our last bowl of mountain tea before trekking back through Mars and into the valley.

Now we can say we have climbed Mont Blanc- at Gare du Nid d'Aigle

Final Thoughts:

Looking back (at my notes), I compiled some final thoughts from this adventure that I will now share:

-      Don’t be scared until you are there… and as Seb said, apparently women are best at this.

-      The Grand Couloir looks terrifying from a far, and then again on the GoPro footage, but honestly it wasn’t so bad when you are in the moment- except for the part where you traverse “a balance beam of fresh snow on something just stiffer than scree for about a minute or two”. That was scary!

-      Tunnel vision is an amazing coping mechanism… at the cost of experiencing the journey.

-      Trust your guide to see the big picture when you are practicing tunnel vision- Seb knew the “boulder” was coming and hastily told us to keep moving.

-      Endurance was key- know how to deal with fatiguing muscles: physically take smaller steps, mentally keep pushing.

-      This was as hard for me as Kilimanjaro, but for different reasons. Mont Blanc is technical, perhaps short and sharp in comparison. Mont Blanc was more enjoyable looking back.

o    To a seasoned Alpinist, this Mont is a cake-walk.

-      Live in the moment and take time to enjoy the journey- cliché, I know.

Mont Blanc from Chamonix