When Life Gets in the Way

Before you read this in search of some "Oh good, she's not as diligent as she thought she might be... I can hold back on some training sessions and everything will be ok", I am going to warn you- this entry is not about that. I most certainly am not writing about finding excuses to give up, nor am I writing about giving yourself permission to cut back. Instead, I thought I'd share how I'm doing and working around "life" as it gets in the way- especially during the holiday season.

 

You might now be thinking "Wow, she's gone crazy (again)", and I can affirm that this might be a little bit true. The biggest change I have noticed in the past month especially is that I have caught "the bug"/ the running bug. I have heard about this phenomenon before, statements like "once I get in the groove, I can't stop" and a hyper-prioritisation of running in your life (I still haven't felt the former, although I am up to three consecutive hours. I'm more in the hyper-prioritisation camp at the moment). This was a feeling that I hadn't really experienced until recently. Running was more of a justification to erase the full fat dairy and wine that I didn't want to give up on in the week. It was a way to clear my head on a Friday after work or fill a couple of hours on a Sunday to enjoy the hills and canal side in the city. I didn't love it. It felt tedious. It was hard. It was certainly boring.

 

So what's changed my perspective?

 

Two things I think:

1) I've persisted to stick to my programme, thus forming a new (reawakening an old) habit called training. I mentioned in my previous entry that my muscles were starting to remember which days were running days and which days were for rest. Consistent, repetitive exercise (the reawakened old) has brought physiological change in the form of new energy levels and body composition. This positive response is feedback to my mind, where my mind says "hey, this feels good- this extra energy and you fit in you skinny jeans!"; as a result, I want to keep doing it.

 

Leading me to #2) the realisation that I am in control of my success, or failure for that matter. Blah, blah, blah... anyone who thinks they are philosophical will say that... you are in control of your destiny/life/fortune. They say it because it is true. They say it because people choose not to exercise this notion. Of course though, there are aspects of your life that you are not able to directly control, but that's for discussion after a glass of wine.

 

What I mean in this case is that the fact that I am directly in control of my current running highs is super comforting. I put good effort in by eating right and watching my pace through the week, I get a reliable result in the form of good average minute mile times on my long Sunday runs= mini wins! I put inconsistent effort in during the week- less sessions or not minding my mid-week pacing, I screw up my Sunday long run/ feel tight/ am an antsy energised mess on a weekday night.

 

My body and mind as a human are reliable, and it puts me at ease to know this... especially if other areas of my life that matter to me are under a course beyond my control (don't worry, Mom).

 

So, what do I mean by saying "when life gets in the way"? It's the holiday season, the time for socialising on nights that you wouldn't normally. And of course it's fine to say "hey, I can't join you tonight" for whatever reason, but at the same time, if this is the only time of year that you meet up with a certain few, then blowing them off entirely because you need to spend an hour running on a Tuesday, shouldn't consistently be an excuse. Nor is blowing off your training completely because you only see these certain few not often enough in the year.

 

Because it is only an extra hour or so of training! And if they are your friends, they will be supportive of meeting you an hour later, or while you still might be wearing your gym kit to the pub. If anything, it gives you another topic to catch up about.

 

Keeping to your training plan does take diligence, coupled with forward planning, and if necessary, flexibility. It's not that often that it's at the last minute you are asked to go and meet someone or attend a midweek party. Generally, you know what's on for the week ahead. Your life is busy, so you keep a calendar. If health and wellness and achieving your goals is important to you, prioritise those aspects of your life. Plan for them. Make a back up plan. Re-arrange your plan, hence flexibility. Just because you have a training plan, it doesn't need to be so rigid that you can't get on with your personal life. You are likely not training 30+ hours a week because you are an Olympic Athlete- and if you are, then my advice is stick to your plan and push back on your social calendar! But chances are that you are an average Joe/Jolene with a goal to achieve. So stick to the gist of it- and by that, stick to at least 80% (yes, a magical number I've plucked from the air) of your regular training regime if you want to see results. Certainly don't whine about how your plan isn't working if you aren't honestly working against your plan.

 

If anything, getting out for a run the day after a Wednesday of heavy Christmas drinking will probably do you the world of good- just swap it to an "easy" day. And lastly, in case you think I'm preaching, here's my progress against my plan, where I've made the last two weeks "flexible" around my social calendar.

 

 

 

https://www.justgiving.com/xtynsrunning/

 

Progress: a PB, 10 weeks, and 10% of 2000£

I'm 10 weeks into my London Marathon training plan, and it's all very real now. It's really happening, and it's really happening the hard way, and my official countdown timer app tells me that it's happening in 171 days, some hours and some minutes as I start this entry. What do I mean by "the hard way", because aren't all marathons hard, you ask? 

The rejection letter.

I mean that I was unsurprisingly unsuccessful as a ballot entrant= if you want to run, you pay! Well, get others to pay- but ultimately in the end, you pay. So as mentioned before, the team of colleagues that I am running with have decided to join the Oxfam charity: we pay Oxfam and admin fee, Oxfam gets us a London Marathon ballot entry, we raise 2000£ for Oxfam per person, Oxfam has funding to continue to support fighting global poverty, and as of late, the Ebola crisis: http://www.oxfam.org.uk/ 

And... cue fundraising website plug here: you can donate to Oxfam via my fundraising website: https://www.justgiving.com/xtynsrunning

Pleading over for this blog... here's an update on what I've been up to:

In short- I've been running, and running a fair bit. You might remember this picture from the previous entry; however, with far fewer check-marks:

I'm super pleased to report that I have been very diligent in working my way through this sheet- even with the challenge of being away from home for three weeks of the last ten. I'm also super pleased that the only run I've been skimping on is my Saturday "easy" run. It's not so much for a lack of motivation on a Saturday, rather for a pure lack of time. Excuses, excuses, I know- but domestic goddessry takes time! I do justify though, by using my Monday "rest" day for Spin class, so all-in-all, I'm still exercising five days a week, which has definitely been the biggest shock to the system. 

How have I been feeling about all of this?

Generally, quite fantastic. I've noticed a change in my energy levels, and mainly on days off. My body knows my running routine now, so if I take a Wednesday off for whatever reason and catch up on Thursday (typical off day), my legs are an antsy mess. It's still painful to go out on Tuesdays (former sit-on-my-ass days), especially now with the winter nights settling in... but the enticement of throwing on some funky leggings helps motivate me. I have certainly always loved the contained feel of wearing spandex!

All of this training has had a positive impact so far on my half-marathon time (disaster run in July 1:56:11), with a new PB (1:42:56) achieved at the Oxford Half Marathon October 12th! I consistently ran 7:51 minute miles (4:50 min/km), was able to dash the finish, and was not aching the next day (all toenails intact). 

So what have I learned in the past ten weeks of training? I've captured some secrets to my progress so far- these tips are for people who are familiar with exercise, but maybe not with the distance of half and full marathon running. 

Base Training: non-negotiable.

-Do a long run each week (>10km)

-For small improvements, add an extra mile (no more than two) to your long run per week.

-For slightly better improvements, you can get away with two running sessions per week: one long run and one interval session (~30 - 45 min).

To Kick Ass!!

-For noticeably feel-good improvements, run 3-5 times per week. To your base training (your long run + interval session), add tempo running and easy running.

Tempo running: you push yourself for an increasing amount of time. Start with a 10 min warm up, then 20 min at a "comfortably hard" pace, then 10 min cool down. Build the hard part by 5-min every week or two. This was a new term and concept for me. I've don a lot of Google searching on this topic over the past two months, and all of the information is saying the same thing.

Easy running: you should be able to talk and run. This acts as a clearing out of the leftover damage in your muscles from an interval/ tempo session the day before. Even as little as 30 minutes does the trick... and don't be afraid to take it easy. This might be the hardest run you do, or the hardest run in the week to get used to.

Don't over train: if you still want to do other classes/ cross training, add them to the appropriate days. For instance, on an "easy" day, do an aerobics or spin class instead of an easy run. Or, add your cross training to the end of a Tempo run. Really take the two days a week to rest.

To make it less boring on your long runs- listen to an audio book! This will help you with pacing rather than racing- so when you do race, you can pump the jam with the tunes and feel totally speedy! This works at the moment for 2 hours or so... I will let you know what my strategy is when I start upping the marathon miles- because let's face it, running gets super boring!

And finally, and some of you know that this kills me mentally- eat carbs; you'll need them. My total diet is probably only 30% carbs, but recovery sucks if I've abstained or dropped below that for the day. But you know what goes well with fresh bread after a long, cold run? Soup!

I say soup because before I sign off, the last tid-bit I have to share is the 10% of the 2000£ that I've managed to raise so far. So what does this have to do with soup? Well, part of that 10% came from a Soup Sale that I organised at work. 

 

Move over bake sale (although some home baked bread, cookies, and loaves did make it as accompaniments), Soup Sales are the new event to hold in the office! A very successful afternoon was had- we raised over 200£ with five different winter warmers on offer... you can see the queue of colleagues waiting to get a piece of this Masterchef!

Menu of the Day for the Soup Sale included:

Parsnip and Ginger

Squash and Chorizo

Spinach and Stilton

Tomato and Oregano

Spiced Lentil

And on that delicious sound note, I am going for one more fundraising plug- where if you want to get your hands on one or more of the uber flavoursome fares, please make a donation on my Just Giving page and I will send you across a recipe of your choice! 

 https://www.justgiving.com/xtynsrunning

My New "Raison d’Être"

It's that time of year again- September: and 17 (-ish) years of educational conditioning prompt me to feel like it's the beginning of the year, rather than the end creeping closely to Christmas. Feeling fresh, and not only from the crispness of autumn air lurking in the morning, I have decided to get serious about the newest challenge I've signed up for- running a marathon. And not any marathon (as you probably suspect as I tend to turn my cheek ordinary), the London Marathon! 

Of course a challenge like this would always be on the horizon. The only question was: when? With a couple of colleagues in a similar frame of mind, one put his initiative out there to rally up a team of us to band together and make this marathon challenge more than just the running. We've pulled together a team of 14 runners (from novices to veteran marathoners) with the challenge of running 10,000 miles and raising over £20,000 for Oxfam leading up to the London Marathon on April 26th, 2015. 

I probably (definitely) needed some sort of commitment like this to get me to the next stage of running. I've lamented before about my wandering mojo, and since April this year, I've been getting suckier and suckier at running! At first I thought I was just tired, so I scaled my mileage down; however, my minutes-per-mile time was still creeping up. Feeling lethargic during most of my Sunday runs during the early summer, I thought- maybe it's the wine? But it has antioxidant properties- so how can that be?! I scaled it back (the Saturday night wine this time), with no improvement to my running, nor waistline! Could it be the fact that I'm now on the wrong side of thirty and the side effects are settling in; are some of my mitochondria are going on a permanent vacation?

Whatever it might be, this poor performance is not acceptable (don't people get faster at their marathon times as they get older?), and feeling raring to go for the start of the new year (September), I decided to get prepared and make a plan. I should know better... I always feel better with a plan!

Preparation steps: 

1) Buy some new shoes. I did actually need new shoes, anyways. I was tired of my toenails falling off! Don't worry, I will not spare the details over the upcoming months.

2) Buy some new clothes- always makes me feel more prepared; and I'm sure it's a fact that the more neon or patterned or reflective you are, the faster you run. Right?!

3) Find out how much training time I actually have... made much easier with a handy countdown app.

4) Tell people! I learned this in school, in Uni, and in life- if you tell people (a lot of people) you are going to do something big, there is more pressure for your to actually go through with it. It's proven to be one of the best exercise strategies for those embarking on a big goal.

5) Train! The last big prep step. 

To date my running has been consistent, but unmonitored. I've just kind of done it. I've had big gains with relatively little input (making me think I am kind of okay at it). I was improving with each race, motivating me to keep doing it. I've hit a plateau now= mojo decline= frustration= FIX IT! So that's what I'm doing now. I am going to take this seriously, and hopefully I will do it well.

So what's the plan? Broadly, I have two marathon training routines to plod against, no wait, no more plodding- work towards before April 26th... with time off over Christmas (naturally). You'll be frightened to know that there are officially 17 weeks (or less, depending on when you are reading this) before Christmas. Session 1 will focus on getting used to the distance for 16 weeks. Session 2 (starting in January) will focus on speed for 17 weeks.

I've got a lot to learn to do this, mostly because just doing it won't be good enough (for me). The most challenging will be running five out of seven days a week. I currently only run twice - maybe three times a week, so finding time (away from the kitchen most likely) will be step 1. And actually because of the fundraising challenge (I think more scary than the running), I will need to be baking constantly- and charging! I suppose the carrot will be the carrot cake that I can eat because of the extra calories I will be burning off! 

The second hardest challenge will be to push myself when nobody is looking; hopefully with the help of my GPS tracker + web upload. And lastly, to learn to go out when it's dark and raining: the reality of living in England and training for this over the winter means that if I wait until the rain stops, I might never get out for a run... and as mentioned, the early nights are a good excuse to buy some neon reflective clothes!

Now that I've shared my plan, the inevitable call for support is extended outwards to you- 

• Please keep following my blog: of course I will be sharing my pain (and successes) virtually with you, I might even treat you to some pictures of bruised toe-nails!
• Send me abuse to get out and run, or run faster! And feel free to join in.
• Please donate- our team will raise £20,000 for a global charity called Oxfam: (read more about it). You can donate on my personal fundraising page: https://www.justgiving.com/xtynsrunning/ 

Thank you in advance and get inspired to get active for yourself or a good cause :)

And A Few More English Things To Do

With the advent of some fair weather the past month-and-a-bit, I have managed to spend a great many weekends ticking off some more of the "102 English Things To Do". 

Most recently, we went to a Chilli Festival. Yes, exactly as it sounds- a food festival to celebrate the tiny-but-terrifying fruit. Set in the grounds of a large stately home called Eastnor Castle and with ambiance of steel drums and a mariachi band, I managed to spend far too much money on novelty "bespoke" local food-stuffs spiced with an array of chilli varietals: chilli-cheese buns, chilli vodka, chilli chocolate, deep fried stuffed chilli peppers... the list goes on. And when immersed in a food festival, it's the prime time to partake in the following English Things To Do:

#15: Form a Queue: where a particularly English Queue starts with one person, even "at a shop counter which is temporarily un-staffed" and "an English person will be seen waiting patiently, facing forward, holding their purchase and vigilant to any signs that the assistant is going to return". Or perhaps one of the worst sorts of social awkwardness where there is "queue ambiguity" and even the thought of going ahead of another might threaten one's Englishness.

And recently as an impatient foreigner, I can assure you I received a "force-10 disapproval of all observers" whilst waiting to place an order for some over-priced olives (stuffed with chillis). I did do the "no, after you glance dance" for about a millisecond before my inner monologue said "Eff-it! You're at the Mediterranean stall, no queues necessary". I can confirm that one tut, and two sets of dagger-eyes immediately came my way. I promptly sass-eyed the group straight back to imply that if they were truly English, they should know that most queues form from left to right. Pfft!

Also at a food festival, it is a good place to do #18: Get Your Round In: Regardless of how drunk participants are getting, it is nearly as socially awkward as not forming a queue to not partake in round buying with English folk resulting in "distinctly beta- or gamma-male" social status if you fail to do so. The key is to plan out where you wish to be in the round- there truly is strategy from a social sense, and my interpretation goes as follows:

Position 1: 

You are the Alpha-male. You have the money and you want to brag that the night will fall out as you've now dictated. Down side: if you hang around for long enough, it might come back to your round= more money lost. Note: Round order stays the same, it would be as sacrilege as queue jumping to change your order of round buying, for essentially, round buying is an unofficial type of queue.

Position 2:

You're a Wannabe- (and in my opinion the worst place to be in socially, unless you're in a round of three, or one male and the rest female) never quite as swift and confident as the Alpha. You safely remember what people are drinking because it's early and you've probably smugly played this up to show how good you are. The problem is that nobody is drunk enough, yet so they see your smugness and secretly think you are a loser for this.

It is only acceptable to be in Position 2 if the group is comprised of one male (then the man is naturally in Position 1) and the rest females. In this case where Position 2 is a female round buying after the only male, this female ascertains Alpha-status of the entire group. She is respectful of the man (allowing him to think he is THE man by getting the first round in), yet demonstrates her monetary power and prowess by jumping in at the right time. Note: it demonstrates utmost lack of self-esteem for the only man in an all female group to buy the round in any position after 2.

However and in any case, if you are unlucky enough for the round to come back to you in the night (groups of more than 4), you might make up for your smugness by purchasing a round of shots for the group. This will either kill your social status within the group completely, or else you've jusssht-mmaaaade life long friendsh. 

Position 3:

Miss/ter Astute: in my opinion the best place to be in (thus my normal round buying strategy). You might still just remember everyone else's order, or rather, you are now giving those in the group a chance to change their order (a dignified way of taking a break with a non-alcoholic bevvy). And because you're recall ability is still in tact, and you've not jumped at the chance to show off, you're still socially accepted! 

It is unlikely that any group members would have left by now (because if someone leaves early, and you haven't bought them a drink, then you will be secretly resented). You can now secretly buy yourself a sobering-up drink disguised as a new type of cocktail. And finally, it is unlikely the round will come back to you; unless you are only 3 in the round, in which you have the dignified act of wrapping up the night. Those shots you might buy in position 6 now become a celebratory sign-off.

Positions 4, 5, 6...

If you're a first in 4, 5, or 6 then chances are high that people are already well imbibed, so they love you for buying them another. As hinted at earlier, if you are a second round 4, 5, or 6 then you've already ascertained your social status in the drinks chain.One one last note, it is socially acceptable to decline from joining in the round buying when there are more than 6 participants.

As this food festival was at Eastnor Castle, in Herefordshire, it was only natural that all rounds checked #100: Drink Traditional Cider- and by cider I mean the sort for grown-ups... "often associated with the 'West Country' (Cornwall, Somerset, Devon) but also found in more northerly parts such as Worcestershire and Herefordshire. 

The Herefordshire origin variety is what I drink most, and I like the description offered in the book:

Real farm-brewed cider bears little resemblance to the bottled variety sold in shops. It is flat, with not fizz, and has a complex flavour which differs from county to county and farm to farm. Aficianados can detect ... many other notes, such as straw, cow-dung, chicken-dung, cheese, horse-dung, other dung, mud and bees.

I can admit that I have tasted a good body of cheese, straw, and bees with top notes of unspecified dung and that no two Traditional Ciders taste the same. The cider at this particular event was from our good ol' favourite Broome Farm (in Herefordshire).

Also in Herefordshire, but part of a previous weekend, Craig and I partook in #86: Visit an AONB (Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty). This point explains one of my most loved reasons for living in the UK (or England): "Only around 20% of the land of England is inhabited by people. The remaining 80% is empty". And it really does feel like that, which is a phenomenon considering there are +66 million people living on this tiny set of islands. 

A declared Area of Outstanding Natural Beauty is just that and there are officially 33 AONBs in England. What makes me laugh is how "most English people never see an AONB and know about them only by hearsay, because, despite the more difficult financial climate, they still prefer to take a holiday abroad.". 

I can truly say I've experienced this before, and especially when English people ask me why the heck I am here and not in Canada. When I poetically ramble on about the rolling green hillside, trimmed with fluffy green hedgerow, and dotted with families of sheep and lambs, I've witnessed a reminiscent smile creep across more than one native English-person's face.

What might you find in an AONB? Well, something that allows you to complete #78: Eat Nettles- Nettles are a staple plant much abundant in the English countryside. And for those of you who aren't familiar, nettles are horrible! Especially when you've inadvertently brushed your leg against one whilst rambling in an AONB. Nettles "produce their 'sting' with thousands of tiny hypodermic needles that discharge boric acid". So why would you eat these?

Folklore goes back to a story with the theme of "who has the longest?!" between two farmers. The losing farmer was to eat their raw nettle in defeat; and from this spun off an annual competition of nettle eating. The rules of the competition state you are to eat the nettles raw- "nevertheless, mouth-to-nettle contact can lead to facial paralysis" which might actually be another meaning of the "British Stiff Upper Lip" (#12). 

I can confess that my rationality would never lead me to partake in such pure activities, even if dressed in the cloak of a competition; I did however eat nettles this past month in the form of another great English food- the pakora :) How so?

I went on a foraging coarse- what can I pick to eat out of my back garden? What is tasty? What won't kill me? Nettles, Wild Garlic, Hedge Garlic, Woodaven, Cherry Blossom, Wild Rose, Lime (Tilia cordata), and Hawthorn are all new plants to jazz up the plates at a dinner party. What have I tried again since the course? I managed to find a field of Wild Garlic 200m behind my house where I whipped up some pesto the other week. Also in this nature space behind my house and in addition to the fields of Blackberry hedges, there are Elderberry Trees and Hedgerow Garlic. And I am really hoping to find some clove-flavoured Woodaven roots and horseradish to dig up. Stay tuned.

Wild Garlic Pesto

Elderflower (left)            Hedgerow Garlic (right)

Woodaven shortbread prep

Lastly to tick off the list (or not) is #77: Extreme Ironing. Well, I can admit that this wasn't quite what I expected, and it has now made my bucket list. I thought that as a result of my recent weekends gallivanting, I had taken part in Extreme Ironing in that I had about a month's worth of ironing to get through in one go- I can confirm that I had to fill the iron three times! to get through it all. 

Alas no, Extreme Ironing is not spending your weekend pressing your pillowcases to achieve that hotel starchy crispness, but in fact the act is as literal as it states. 

Extreme Ironing may be defined as a quest for thrills while simultaneously achieving a perfect crease. Participants go skydiving, potholing, bungee-jumping, or skiing, only with an ironing board and iron.

From what I can tell, the main rule is that the paired activity must be thrilling by itself. I better start thinking about how I can actually work this into my life! Perhaps I am not yet eccentrically English enough to find an obvious enough answer, or perhaps it's my logical brain that is impeding me from becoming truly eccentrically English. I might just hold onto the latter a little while longer and demonstrate my will for citizenship in the form of a queue at the immigration office instead.

What an Adventure!

"So you're a research scientist, you've come to Britain, and you're on MasterChef... you really do love an adventure?"

Just a bit, eh?!

So how did this all come about? Some of my friends wouldn't be surprised that I ended up on reality TV- really, since the first ever season of Survivor, and ever-so building with watching the Amazing Race series, I've secretly wanted to be on a show. And like most armchair critics, my competitive nature makes me think- hey, I'm better than that person (or not in this case). 

September rolled on, still coming down from my Kili high, I did what any (attention grabbing) junkie does and scoured around for my next hit. I need some more stimulation, I thought- something to get wrapped up in! What should it be? To the internet I went in search of the application form for the Great British Bake Off.; however, it was not open yet. Ok, if not Bake Off, then what is a suitable substitute? MasterChef?! And a bit of self-commentary here:

"Are you really sure you want to do this?!"

"Why not, who says I'll get in?"

"But you know you'll get in, for the reason that you don't really want to get in?"

"That's not true. I think I can do it."

"But the thought of taking part in the professional kitchen makes you want to run away in terror"

"I'll cross that bridge when it comes"

And with that, I filled out the application form to the best of my TV-appropriate answering ability and sent it off. Now, I'm not allowed to speak about the details, so I will skip onward to commenting with my two cents/pence on what is in the public domain.

Picnic style: Braised duck in thyme-infused tortellini with blackberry reduction and creme fraiche. I might have had to cook something like this before what you saw on TV.

Filming is in advance of airing, and with enough time that I managed to forget about the live commentary I provided at the time. I even managed to calm down and underplay the feelings I had in the whirlwind of a time I was involved. Under contract, I was/am not allowed to spoil the magic, so only a handful of people knew what I was up to. My little secret- how spesh! However, some keen foodies spotted me about a week prior to airing as programme dates were confirmed on the official website. And would you look at that, who do you see?

As word started to get out, my colleagues were asking me if it was true. Should I or should I not alert the masses? In sheer fear of making an ass of myself, I kept the interests of the show in tact and downplayed the event. The truth was, I couldn't remember what I had said at the time of filming- I did, however, have flashback hints (like a Sunday afternoon after a rough Saturday out)- was I really the smart ass to seal their fate at the point of self-review?

Anyone that watches reality TV/ TV competitions knows that as soon as someone says they are better than the group, they are gone! I remembered saying something to that effect, and sorry to spoil it for those of you that haven't yet watched, I said goodbye after Day 1. To be exact- "I'm definitely not the furthest along, but I definitely think I'm not at the bottom". If I was sat on my couch watching someone I didn't know, I'd be snarkily stating how they were going home after such a comment. And so did those punters live-commenting on the Facebook page. Interestingly, though- I remember feeling more smug when I said that on the day, which didn't come across on camera, (thank god!) and, the judges didn't hear that interview so, voted my smug-ass off for some other reason that still isn't that clear to me. 

Apart from that comment, I couldn't remember what other cringe-worthy strings of words I slung together, which was why my hesitancy only strengthened my yearning for secrecy from the whole experience. It turned out that I had to watch it at the point of broadcast with the rest of the UK.

Below are a string of frames from the show with some of the thoughts going through my head at the time:

OMG- I'm in the TV! At this point I'm normally tucked up on the couch with a glass of wine anticipating what disasters are about to unfold. I am now the one who I normally judge. Keep calm- and do what I need to do.

And do this by smashing the heck out of my meat!

Mushroom stuffed port tenderloin with a honey balsamic glaze. Yes, those are toothpicks because my meat-tying skills are appalling.

Not looking disgusted, phew! Note here: What was aired was probably less than a third of the footage that was actually taken. In each of the high pressure cooking hours that we had to produce and edible plate of food, John Torode prowled the benches smugly smelling and getting into elements to be included in the contestant's dishes. I received a sceptical glance at the state of my home-grown sage (we got to bring in an element from home to include if we wished), but an approving glance when he tucked his unwashed hands into my pastry crumbs.

The two dishes that I produced for the show: 

Above- Calling Card: Mushroom stuffed pork tenderloin with a honey balsamic glaze. On a bed of creamed leeks (kudos to The Nowell's for their inspiration). Served with roast potatoes, tomatoes, and crispy sage. 

Below- Invention Test: Carameliszd fig crumble with lavender infused pastry and lavender infused marscapone cheese.

Gregg "love, love, loving the lavender infused cream". Too bad he didn't appreciate the subtlety of my garlic in the first round.

Just a few notes about the show format for those of you who aren't familiar. 

The first round we were asked to prepare our Calling Card. "It gives us an idea of what kind of cook you are". Something to be prepared in an hour with no sweet/ savoury restrictions. I battled with the strategy of the first round- do I do reliable or daring? If I get reliable bang-on, then it will trump the muppets that mess up their daring. However, there is a risk of playing it too safe. I erred on reliable. I have cooked far more complex and exciting things than pork; however, with the knowledge of what the Day 2 challenge was, I didn't want to serve pork to potential diners who were adverse to it. Let's start with it- use some sage from the garden, and with good execution I should sit comfortably (or so I thought).

Those familiar with the format know that there are many different challenges throughout the journey, and one of the classics is the Invention Test. Choose a box: Sweet or Savoury. You have a basic larder, but don't know what is in the box. You have 10 minutes to think of something to cook in 1-hour. I was so excited to take part in either this round or the Palate Test (test my sensory ability to the max!!). How do you prepare? You need to know some core recipes off the top of your head; so the night before filming, I got my little red book of recipes out and studied things I could make with core ingredients: pastries (shortcrust, puffed, crumble) and sauces (Hollandaise and veloute based).

The instant that I walked into the "kitchen" and saw the choice of two boxes, my brain did what it does best and jumped straight into action planning mode. I cannot remember the introductory spiel that the hosts were rattling off- my ears were closed to them as I processed the larder ingredients in front of me. Flour, icing sugar, eggs, butter- sorted! Now, think hard- what are your pastry ratios! By choosing the Sweet box, chances are extremely high that there will be fruit in the box= tatin or crumble. 

Here is what I had to work with: Stem ginger, figs, pastry, rosemary, marscapone, eggs, lavender apricots, and pine nuts. Classically apricot and ginger sticks in my head, but as that was the first combination I thought of, I discounted it as being too common. Hmmm... figs?! Let's try them. And, to be more interesting, throw some herbs in there as any nouveaux chef is doing these days. What was risky- I have never used figs nor lavender in my cooking. What the heck do I even do with figs? Are they peeled? I sliced one and ate the skin- it wasn't horrible so left it on the rest of them. One hour later, the fig tatin that I had intended to make ended up more like a crumble, so I disappointingly trimmed around the edges to tidy up the presentation (in hindsight I wish I would have sliced it, instead), got some over-caramelized fig caught in my teeth (you can see me picking it out on the show) and brought my plate to the judges at the front with a live crumble-re-branding as I presented the dish.

I received positive (lovely touch of lavender, excellent pastry, kudos for doing a sweet) and negative (figs too hard) comments, and ultimately was dismissed as the second contestant to leave the episode.

Gutting, yes. Bittersweet, yes- especially when I walked through the doors after being dismissed and the producers were flabbergasted! However, better now than when I invested more emotion into the competition; and, I was secretly dreading cooking my two courses in the next round. Concocting pan-fried duck breast on parsnip puree, with curly kale, and a blackberry reduction as a main with homemade pumpkin pie (from raw, whole pumpkin) to a finished product in 1hr 15min was terrifying me, but I can honestly say that the entirety of the experience was amazing and unforgettable!

And to end off, I would like to share some of the comments I received from those rooting for me during the live broadcast and fans that commented the next day:

Love from Saira Hamilton, finalist in 2013 (although I remember shouting at the TV that I can poach eggs better than her!)

Live feed on Facebook during the show.

And perhaps my favourite, after a rather large smashing from parochial Guardian writer Sam Wollaston- here is the link to the article. How dare you assume all Canadians are from Toronto!

And a mulligan of how my dessert should have been. 

The progarmme can be watched on YouTube:

http://youtu.be/6G5qilsm6Cw

Here Comes the (Product Developer)... All Dressed in ... (Hot Glue and Icing Sugar)

Winter means home time, which means, I better have a project or two up my sleeve to keep me out of the shops on the weekend; and with our great friends' wedding, why not volunteer to hand-make their gifts? What did I sign up for? Well, originally only a bespoke cork-board for the wine-loving couple. However, I also managed to rope myself in to making the cake. I'm not complaining (when I'm fed up of hot glue or egged-petals sticking to my fingers or for sweeping up lemon zest from the floor for the fifth time in a day)... "You do it to yourself" Thom Yorke.

Outcomes of my endeavors will be presented in two ways: 

1) A mix of business and pleasure- some scantly written details of how I scaled up a wedding cake.

2) A self-explanatory pictorial montage of cork-boarding.

1) Scale up exercise: 

First: Determine the number of consumers in which you are serving product; which makes me giggle because "serving product" is not terminology of the normal person, rather of a Product Developer; and off topic, it super makes me giggle because it reminds me of how upon winning a box of *!gasp!* Celebrations, we dissected the contents to count how many "units" of each flavour were in the box. You know you work in Product Development when... In any case, I found a super-handy website to help me estimate portion numbers for this endeavour. http://www.icedjems.com/2012/08/cake-servings-guide/ 

I know I need cake for 65 people. I don't want to be shy with the portions/ account for waste, so estimate for 70 portions; furthermore, the "portions" are certainly NOT to be the typical 1" square servings that are expected at a wedding. I opt to follow the "Party Cake" guidelines.

Next: up-scale your chosen recipe: 

Lemon sponge. Sandwich style. Normally for an 8" tin.

Earl Grey Creme Patissiere

Apricot Jam

Lavender infused (set) Chantilly cream

I will make 1x decorative round three-tiered cake: 6" on an 8" on a 10" (should serve 40-ish) + another 8" on a 10" to dish out. Below is what it looks like in my head? And as you see,I mean the recipe, NOT the finished product (I'm not that visionary and will "deal" with whatever monster I create).

It looks like 5 sponges, 2-kilos of Creme Pat and 35 freaking eggs, that's what it looks like! 

Starting somewhere, I got stuck-in early in the week with the Creme Pat. The more I get out of the way leading to the big day, the more I can relax the day before. This being said and the cake being a sponge, I opted to take Friday off as holiday to ensure the sponge would still be spongy on the day. My wedding guest pet peeve: $#!+ food- meaning dry, bland cake... (and the traditional cold finger buffet that the UK is renowned for... barf! But that's for another blog).

 Earl Grey infused Creme Patiessiere 

Line them up! Friday came and I got busy. I know you don't see 35 eggs, but I can assure you the missing 16 are in the 2kg of Creme Pat in the bowl on the right. 

Two other notes I'd like to make: 

1) I cheated out on making the jam. Get over it. Another time. (yes, that is tired sarcasm you detect). 

2) As there was one vegetarian (of course), my moral code kicked in and I decided to test out the VegeSet. A little red devil on my shoulder wanted to stick with gelatine, but as it is my job to make sure that food is fit for purpose and safe for consumers, I invested in the vegetarian suitable option. Comment- stick to gelatine, it works better :) Just kidding. I need to play around a bit more with the substitution, but a straight swap for liquefied gelatine for liquefied VegeSet was not as effective as the standard preparation.

 Ingredients out.

 Mix it up.

  

Pour it in and let it bake.

(Apricot) Jammin'

Stack it up and spin it round. Note: Fantastic Christmas prezzie from my Sister-in-law: a cake turntable. It seriously beats the dish on the bowl trick.

Pestled lavender buds into the Chantilly cream.

I was tasked with a vintage, natural look to decorate the cake, and crystallised flower petals were on the top of the list of ways to decorate the cake. "You do it to yourself, you do". But really, I do honestly LOVE a challenge... and these challenges in particular. 

Straight to the Internet to figure out how to crystallise the flower petals. 

Suggestion #1: use organic flowers (to avoid pesticides)- and thank goodness Valentine's day was around the same time as this task. I managed to get some discounted leftover roses (about the same cost as fresh conventional ones). 

Suggestion #2 (and in line with the moral nature of my job): use reconstituted powdered egg whites (they are pasteurised) as they are safe for the immuno-compromised.

And so you know, this is what you do:

1) Paint flower petals with egg wash.

2) Dip flower petals in fine grained sugar

3) Place onto baking paper and let dry. Some websites say 6-8 hours, others say "overnight". The petals in my house really needed 24 hours (and the room is heated with a log burner).

I can say the task took about as long as I expected. It is tedious and pernickity, so good tunes will bring you along. One more Top Tip: don't be heavy handed with the egg wash nor the sugar to allow for crisp drying. Some of my heavily egged petals didn't fully crisp. On the other hand, insufficiently egged petals wilted by the time the cake was cut and served. And, apparently you can freeze petals that you haven't used...good to know.

And how did it all come together? See for yourself.

Voila! I can definitely say that the time was worth it! I felt chuffed with what I accomplished- it was a freaking tasty cake, that's for sure! I can also say that I am my own worst critic. I was disappointed how small the cake looked when it was in a big room rather than my kitchen. And in hindsight, I would have scaled back some of the piping (two lines vs. three- but I needed the third line on the day when I assembled the tiers on site). But most importantly, the bride and groom were super happy with their present (and perhaps most-most importantly, so were the mothers).

 Touch up kit on site.

And to wrap this entry up, below are the photos of the other present that we (with much help from Craig and also from my friend Ollie and his saw) constructed. I'll take orders, if you see what you like! It would be nice if this hobby will make me money by keeping me out of the shops on the weekends!