OMG- I had the truest of epiphanies last night, and I'm still not entirely sure how I feel about this. A feeling of total realisation, that it all makes sense, and perhaps some acceptance that this is what I am. The good thing is that in this realisation, I can get on with myself and embrace my true self- yes, I am a yuppie!
Context: we went to a small gig last night, and I've always thought as a passerby, you can usually make a good guess of the music genre by the people waiting outside. Craig made the comment this time, and I looked around and instantly and nonchalantly thought- I'm amongst a crowd of yuppies.
Lots of coiffed salt and pepper short hair, chunky or half rimmed rectangular specs, blazers, bootcut jeans, collared shirts, round-toed shoes or boots, rectangle looped-around-once scarves, couples or groups of four at-most. The average age of this crowd is late 30's. The band is I am Kloot- a traditional Manchester indie rock band- but not a hipster indie rock band like Vampire Weekend, a yuppie-indie rock band.
We went into the old church-turned-music-venue for small crowds (I'm not doing that stadium stuff anymore) and lined up at the bar to get some local cider on tap. We took our drinks back to the floor and stood patiently as the support act was on. This is when it smacked me in the face. I looked around, looked at myself (also wearing a blazer, jeans, and the cutest of round-toed kitten heels) and thought- shit... if these guys are yuppies, then I am definitely a yuppie. I look as average as everyone else at this small bespoke gig, so it must be.
So I Googled the term "yuppie?" and was brought to the Wiki link for yuppie: a young urban professional usually referring to a member of the upper middle class (or aspiring) in their 20's or 30's... blah blah blah...and now quoting from the Wikipedia page: Author and political commentator Victor Davis Hanson has written:
Yuppism... is not definable entirely by income or class. Rather, it is a late-20th-century cultural phenomenon of self-absorbed young professionals, earning good pay, enjoying the cultural attractions of sophisticated urban life and thought, and generally out of touch with, indeed antithetical to, most of the challenges and concerns of a far less well-off and more parochial Middle America. For the yuppie male a well-paying job in law, finance, academia, or consulting in a cultural hub, hip fashion, cool appearance, studied poise, elite education, proper recreation and fitness, and general proximity to liberal-thinking elites, especially of the more rarefied sort in the arts, are the mark of a real man.[5]
Or I might offer up my favourite Urban Dictionary offering: "Group whose culture blends the hippie/counterculture values of the 60s and the materialistic monetary-based values of the 80s. Usually congregate in Starbucks, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, and a wide variety of vintage clothing boutiques. Includes both moderate Liberals (Majority of yuppies), and moderate Conservatives (smaller group of yuppies- to which I belong) although both the far left and the far right enjoy dissing them.
Far left dude: I hate these damn yuppies! They claim to be "artists" and "bohemians", yet their materialistic pursuits embody the very antithesis of the counterculture, and price real "artists" like me out of the neighborhoods they move to!
Far right dude: I hate these damn yuppies. I can't stand they flaunt their metrosexuality with their designer labels, lattes, luxury cars, and globally conscious health food stores. It's European-wannabe wimps like them that corrupt America!
I am laughing my head off at all of this probably because I agree with it! And here are the reasons why I have now self identified with this term:
- Hipsters have always got on my nerves- maybe because I know I will never be as cool as one, but I will never be a hipster because I am a yuppie. I described the picture of the yuppie above- let me paint a hipster picture- Lots of un-coiffed blonde buffonted back combed hair piled high, chunky round specs (of the 80's style), chunky 80's knits, skinny jeans, collared shirts (unchecked), always pointy-toed brogues or ankle boots, triangular loosely tied scarves with morbid patterns of guns or skulls or Middle Eastern check, heards of "individuals". The average age of this crowd is under 25.
- Hipsters still go to festivals and shower twice a week at most. Yuppies go to small gigs where you might still be able to have an in-depth conversation with your friend (and can shower before and after).
- Yuppies drink posh coffee in the day and drink wine after noon- they even have wine plans, not supermarket offers. They might alternatively drink microbrewery beer or else gin.
- Yuppies recognise famous chefs when they go out- This is true and was the icing on the cake for me because at the gig yesterday, I recognised and had a small chat with 2 Michelin star chef Tom Kerridge. When I am in London I never recognise any of the supermodels or band-members in the streets.
- Yuppies like comedy such as David O'Doherty's Party Song and Jon Richardson for his comedic teachings on washing your wine glasses before the pork and leek sausage pan. I could go on, but I will keep it at that so I can get back to my grande Pike Place with sugar-free hazelnut syrup...
And for those of you that are now worried that you might also be a *gasp- yuppie, let me leave you with some observations as to what exempts you from yuppie-ism:
- you have kids
- you are 28 and under... I have arbitrarly picked this number, but I feel like this is when I definitely started to lose my youth- but I think this also coincided with the advent of my job title becoming Scientist- how very yuppie
- you are 50+
- you wear sneakers out... but not posh tennis-style pumps. I'm talking about proper sporty sneakers.
- you probably play team sports rather than doing a "session" at the gym or going for a run for longer than an hour
- you buy booze on offer
- you listen to top 40 music
- aaaannd... you don't have a blog ;)
